Ten years ago, I asked you to believe in a dream. Today, I'm asking you to fund a reality.
While certain billionaire tech-bros are busy turning social media platforms into digital scrap heaps and "colonizing" Mars (yikes, talk about a commute!), I've decided to keep it local. I'm going to the Moon. Why? Because I've looked at the current state of Earth's vibes, and frankly, they're trending downward.
This funding project is a post-revenue, pre-logic initiative to put me, Will Hollingsworth, on the lunar surface. This isn't for "science" or "humanity." This is about the ultimate aesthetic pivot.
I am seeking a modest $420,690,000 to facilitate this journey. Your contributions will be allocated toward the following essential pillars of the mission:
A "Subscription-Based" Spacesuit: I've partnered with a startup that provides life-supporting oxygen on a monthly tier system. If the funding drops, the air stops. High stakes!
The Elon-Proof Bunker: A specialized habitat designed to withstand the cringe of orbital satellite constellations and unwanted X (formerly Twitter) notifications.
A Very Long Extension Cord: For the Wi-Fi. I need to be able to post "POV: You're on the Moon" TikToks in 8K resolution.
Legal Fees: To fight the inevitable lawsuits from various space agencies claiming that the Moon "belongs to everyone." (Spoiler: I'm claiming it via a Flag-Based Consensus Protocol).
We are moving away from the "legacy" model of putting things in boxes and taking them to a building. Instead, we are adopting Asynchronous Fulfillment. This means your reward exists in a state of "Quantum Readiness," it is simultaneously shipped and unshipped until you actually open your mailbox and check.
While we have a target date of Q3 2027, please understand that "Time" is a social construct, especially in the vacuum of space. Shipping will occur on a Vibe-Based Schedule. If the lunar alignment isn't perfect, or if the post office line looks "a bit much," we reserve the right to pivot to a digital-first existence.
Every headshot is signed with Experimental Evaporative Ink. This cutting-edge technology ensures that by the time the photo reaches your doorstep; assuming it clears our rigorous 48-month "Quality Assurance" hold—the signature may have transcended into a purely spiritual form.
The Orbital Enthusiast - $500
You will be entered into our Physical Manifestation Queue for a Signed 5x7 Headshot. This tier grants you "Priority Consideration" for shipping, which means your address is saved in a spreadsheet that I promise to look at at least once per fiscal year. You aren't just buying a photo; you're buying the concept of me mailing you a photo.
The Lunar Tycoon - $1,000
This premium tier secures a Signed 8x10 Headshot, which is legally classified as "Heavy Cargo." Due to the massive 200% increase in paper weight, these require a Specialized Logistics Window that may or may not ever open. If the photo never arrives, please consider your $1,000 a "Non-Refundable Development Grant" for my lunar retirement fund.
If we exceed our funding target, we can unlock the following milestones:
$500M - The "Lunar HOA": I will officially begin charging rent to the Apollo landing sites for "historical preservation."
$750M - Moon-Based Zine Distribution: I will install a high-end risograph printer in the Sea of Tranquility to produce the first-ever vacuum-sealed DIY publications.
$1B - The Ultimate "Unfollow": I will physically move the Moon 5% further away from Earth just to get some actual peace and quiet.
The primary risk is that I might actually have to go. Space is cold, and I've heard the food is mostly gel-based. Additionally, there is a non-zero chance that the rocket is just three Teslas taped together, but that's the "fail fast" mentality we need in 2026.
Disclaimer: This project is not affiliated with NASA, SpaceX, or anyone with a functioning sense of financial responsibility. All rewards are digital-only unless you physically come to the Moon to pick them up.